When I recently came across Home for a While, I knew instantly I wanted to share it with all of you!
Home for a While, written by Lauren Kerstein and illustrated by Natalia Moore, is a heavy-hitting picture book that tackles the topics of foster care, self-regulation, strength finding, and consent all in 29 short pages.
Talk about layers!
In Home for a While, Calvin is afraid to open his heart to his new foster mom, Maggie. But as Maggie shows Calvin respect, helps him to manage his big feelings, and celebrates his strengths, Calvin starts to wonder if this new house is a place he can call home for a while.
Home for a While is lovely in every way.
It’s packed with warm dialogue and figurative language, its colorful artwork challenges perceived “norms,” and it features a relatable character who grows into himself as a result of the patient love of his caretaker.
I’ll give you more ideas on how to put this story “to work” in a moment, but first, I’d like to share a little more personally.
One of our kiddos (we’ll call him A) has extra-big feelings and sensory processing challenges that can make everyday situations especially hard to navigate. We have been working with him to develop self-regulation strategies and choose safe ways to process his feelings. (And it can be really hard for all of us!)
When our copy of Home for a While arrived in the mail, we read it right away! While we read, I watched something happen in my sensitive son. Although the circumstances of his life are very different than Calvin’s, he was connecting to this character whose expressions of big emotions sometimes cause problems. He was seeing another child move from co-regulation to self-regulation using deep breaths (a strategy he has often been resistant to using). He was watching an adult respond with patient redirection instead of anger, and he was listening carefully to the way that adult asked permission to hug and called out Calvin’s strengths, especially the strengths that initially showed up in some destructive ways.
After we read the story, I asked if I could hug A. “Why do you want to hug me?” he asked, following the dialogue pattern in the book. I responded with Maggie’s words: “Because you’re so huggable!” Then I called out one of A’s strengths. He beamed.
Just as he had seen himself reflected in Calvin’s struggle and watched as Calvin modeled self-regulation, so I too was seeing the parenting we are striving for modeled by Maggie.
We talk often in the writing world about representation and the importance of children being able to “see themselves” in the stories they read. Children need books that act as “windows” into another person’s experience, and they also need stories that are “mirrors” of their own. Home for a While provided both a “mirror” and a “window” to our family because out of this story, we were able to relate with Calvin’s struggles and emotional journey in a personal way and learn from his foster care situation about the challenges that other kids face that are different from our own.
Did you know that on a given day, there are over 400,000 children in foster care in the United States? We need stories like Home for a While that provide a mirror for children in the foster care system, that allow these children to feel seen, to know that they are not alone, and to see that they can grow. Books like this open doors to meaningful conversation about personal feelings and experiences and also about the feelings and experiences of others.
Home for a While is a book for all children, not only those who are directly connected to the foster care system in some way, and I would highly recommend bringing this book into your home or classroom.
As promised, I’ll be sharing some conversation starters and ideas on how to use Home for a While at home or in the classroom. I’ve divided these up into a few “big ideas” to get you started. (And you can find a few more here!)
Foster Care:
Questions to Ask:
- Why do you think Calvin feels like nobody wants him? Have you ever felt like Calvin? When did you feel that way?
- Why do you think Calvin doesn’t want to unpack his bags at the beginning of the story? Eventually Calvin does unpack. What changed the way he felt?
- Look at what makes Calvin feel afraid and angry. Why do you think he feels afraid when he hears about his new school? Why do you think he feels angry when he has to draw a family picture? What do you think Calvin might be feeling when he can’t find his favorite shirt from Mama? Why do you think he felt that way?
- How do you think Calvin feels when he breaks Maggie’s things? Why do you think he feels that way? Have you ever felt like Calvin?
Self-regulation:
Questions to Ask:
- When Calvin feels afraid and angry, how does he try to quiet his feelings?
- What does Maggie do or suggest to help Calvin to quiet his feelings? Name as many strategies as you can!
- Look at the page where Calvin unpacks his suitcase and takes out Mama’s picture.
- How do you think he might feel when he looks at Mama’s picture?
- How do you know Calvin is learning to quiet his emotions in a different way?
- What do you do to quiet your feelings when you feel sad, afraid, lonely, or angry? Do your strategies help you? What is a new strategy you might try?
- Look at the pictures in the book. What emotions can you see in the pictures? How do you know the characters feel that way just by looking at the pictures?
Things to Do:
- Practice self-regulation strategies together (e.g. deep breathing exercises – “smell the flowers, blow out the candles,” infinity breathing; physical activity – bounce a ball outside, jump on a trampoline or do jumping jacks, mold with clay, take a walk, etc.)
- Talk about your feelings and strategies for self-regulation during everyday activities (e.g. “I feel ____ because ____.”)
- Draw a feeling.
- Write a story or draw a picture of a time you felt a certain way.
- Play emotions charades – Try to guess someone’s feelings based on their facial expression and body language. Infer why they might be feeling that way.
Consent:
Questions to Ask:
- Maggie asks Calvin if she can hug him. Why do you think she asked him? Do you think it is important to ask before giving someone a hug? Why or why not?
Things to Do:
- Take turns asking each other for permission to do things and respecting each other’s “yes” or “no” (e.g. give a hug, tickle, tousle someone’s hair, etc.).
- Practice asking each other politely not to do something (e.g. “I don’t feel like being hugged right now. Please don’t hug me.” or “I don’t like how it feels when you tickle me. Please don’t tickle me.”)
Strength Finding:
Questions to Ask:
- Look at the pages that show how Calvin tries to quiet his emotions. Then read the reasons Maggie wants to hug Calvin (e.g. “You’re like a persistent beaver pounding sticks into his lodge.”). How does Maggie help Calvin to see his strengths?
Things to Do:
- Take turns finding each other’s strengths and sharing them.
- Read another book where a character gets in trouble for something. What are some of that character’s strengths (even if they might not be used in a helpful way in the story)?
Your turn! Read Home for a While. Then tell me what stood out most to you!
About the Author:
Lauren Kerstein is an author and psychotherapist. She is a Jersey girl at heart who loves reading, drinking tea, and devouring chocolate. Lauren currently lives in Colorado with her husband, Josh, their two dragons…er, daughters, Sarah and Danielle, and her rescue dog, Duke. Lauren is the author of books in her field that include such topics as sensory issues and emotion, flexible thinking, autism spectrum disorders, and emotion regulation. She is also a children’s author. Her debut fiction picture book: Rosie the Dragon and Charlie Make Waves (Illustrated by Nate Wragg/Two Lions) swam to shelves in June 2019. The companion volume, Rosie the Dragon and Charlie Say GoodNight (Illustrated by Nate Wragg/Two Lions), snuggled into shelves on September 1, 2020. Lauren’s book Home for a While (Illustrated by Natalia Moore/Magination Press) will snuggle into bookshelves on February 2, 2020.Lauren is a long-time member of SCBWI and the 12×12 PB Challenge, runs a critique business, is a judge for Rate Your Story, and is one of the founders of #ReVISIONweek. Her writing goals are simple. Read voraciously. Embrace feedback. Grow each day. Work hard. Be passionate. Write courageously. Touch children’s hearts.
Follow Lauren on Twitter or Instagram (@laurenkerstein) or check out her website: www.LaurenKerstein.net for more.
About the Illustrator:
Check out more of Natalia’s artwork on Instagram, Twitter, or her website: http://nataliamoore.co.uk/